Why Does It
Feel So Good?
I've tried to avoid giving (and getting) typical Christmas gifts. In the past I've printed teeshirts for my family, hand-made a set of building blocks for a newborn nephew, found Picasso and Eleanor Roosevelt dolls for my brother's kids, strung together a hundred dvds to present a Netflix account to my parents, and formatted a years worth of email exchanges between my boyfriend and I into a hand-stitched paperback book. This year was considerably more difficult, mostly because everything involved spending some amount of money, and because requisite gift-giving really started to seem ludicrous. I wanted new experiences with friends, not find something to give them because I had to.
It was also a challenging year for people who wanted to give presents to me. I was asked several times if I expected folks to know who made anything they were going to give to me. While I certainly wasn't going to 'require' it, I surely encouraged it. A few family members really took it to heart, and went out of their way to find locally-produced or socially-progressive gifts. My grandmother sent oranges and grapefruits local to her Palm Beach home; an aunt visited an artisan kitchen and sought out locally made jams, cookies and sauces in a handmade basket.
Knowing I'm also an avid swimmer and have begun training for a sprint triathlon this spring, my parents and brother wanted to help me with purchases I need in order to train but couldn't make myself. They gave me generous gift cards to Paragon Sports, a local independent athletics store in Union Square. I immediately made contact with the store and hope to be invited in to learn more about it and meet the folks who work there. In the meantime, however, my shorts are so threadbare I decided to let myself buy one new pair with their gift this weekend.
The shopping trip into the city was combined with a search for picture frames with Joe, which turned into a couple stops at art stores and at Muji. It hit me hard that this was the first real shopping excursion I had been on in a very long time. It was a rush of familiar feelings, wandering aisle upon aisle, picking products up and looking them over, reading price tags, thinking about what's on sale, comparing one store's offerings to another. It honestly felt like a guilty pleasure. I hated it, but it was so easy and strangely comforting. And when I finally made it to the register to check out after agonizing over the swim shorts, it somehow made me feel good about myself for a hot minute. Like I had power because I could buy something, or something.
I wondered what is it about 'retail therapy'. When I'm feeling down, why does it feel so good to go buy things? Even for someone who shuns shopping? But then I biked back to Brooklyn, wore the new shorts for 30 laps in the pool, and found a note from friends when I got home, thanking me again for the wedding invitations I designed for them. And I remembered that there are other things I've learned to do to make myself feel better that are lighter on my wallet, healthier for my body, and better for my community.
It was also a challenging year for people who wanted to give presents to me. I was asked several times if I expected folks to know who made anything they were going to give to me. While I certainly wasn't going to 'require' it, I surely encouraged it. A few family members really took it to heart, and went out of their way to find locally-produced or socially-progressive gifts. My grandmother sent oranges and grapefruits local to her Palm Beach home; an aunt visited an artisan kitchen and sought out locally made jams, cookies and sauces in a handmade basket.
Knowing I'm also an avid swimmer and have begun training for a sprint triathlon this spring, my parents and brother wanted to help me with purchases I need in order to train but couldn't make myself. They gave me generous gift cards to Paragon Sports, a local independent athletics store in Union Square. I immediately made contact with the store and hope to be invited in to learn more about it and meet the folks who work there. In the meantime, however, my shorts are so threadbare I decided to let myself buy one new pair with their gift this weekend.
The shopping trip into the city was combined with a search for picture frames with Joe, which turned into a couple stops at art stores and at Muji. It hit me hard that this was the first real shopping excursion I had been on in a very long time. It was a rush of familiar feelings, wandering aisle upon aisle, picking products up and looking them over, reading price tags, thinking about what's on sale, comparing one store's offerings to another. It honestly felt like a guilty pleasure. I hated it, but it was so easy and strangely comforting. And when I finally made it to the register to check out after agonizing over the swim shorts, it somehow made me feel good about myself for a hot minute. Like I had power because I could buy something, or something.
I wondered what is it about 'retail therapy'. When I'm feeling down, why does it feel so good to go buy things? Even for someone who shuns shopping? But then I biked back to Brooklyn, wore the new shorts for 30 laps in the pool, and found a note from friends when I got home, thanking me again for the wedding invitations I designed for them. And I remembered that there are other things I've learned to do to make myself feel better that are lighter on my wallet, healthier for my body, and better for my community.
posted by Scott at
11:07 AM
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